Three years ago, Les Franklin discovered his 16-year-old son, Shaka, had killed himself with a gun.

For three days last week, the Denver, Colorado single father shared the pain and lessons he got from that tragedy with more than 1,000 children and adults in Winnipeg's Jewish Community.

"I'm begging you as a community - please pay attention to what your kids have to say," Franklin passionately urged an audience of 500 at Shaaney Zedek Synagogue February 8. "We shut children off at a very early age when we tell them to shut up or be silent. A lot of children have closed themselves in - they're not sharing."

A network of Winnipeg synagogues and Jewish community agencies sponsored the visit here by Franklin, director of the Governor's Job Training Office for the State of Colorado and a former IBM executive. A Jewish Community Crisis Response Coordinating Committee, set up following a series of young Winnipeg Jewish suicides in the past year, took a key role in organizing his agenda.

"My daughter, Lisa, took her own life in July 1989," Jewish Foundation Manitoba Director David Cohen said, introducing the speaker to the crowd of children and adults for his main lecture at Shaarey Zedek. "My wife, Maurene and I have been vocal about presenting the activities of the past two days."

"I've been with your children from Grades 4-12, and some of your college students, too," Franklin said. He was referring to his sessions with students at Ramah Hebrew School, Talmud Torah/I.L.Peretz Folk School and Joseph Wolinsky Collegiate, as well as with a group of 18 to 25 year olds at the YMHA Jewish Community Centre.

The burly motivational speaker also addressed teachers, social workers and other professionals working with young people in the Jewish Community.

Founder of The Shaka Franklin Foundation for Youth, set up to educate people about and stop teen suicide, Franklin has spoken to more than 150,000 students around the world on that subject, including audiences in Israel and Egypt.

In Winnipeg, he heard confessions from Jewish children similar to those in other cities.

"I know things about this community few adults are aware of," Franklin told the hushed crowd. "They've engaged in alcohol and drugs," he said of young Jewish teenagers he talked to. "They've engaged in sex."

"You've got some wonderful children in this community - bright, talented, but also under a lot of pressure."

Franklin cited a thesis Winnipeg B'Nai Brith Youth Organization Director Marla Adelberg did in the early 1990's on suicidal thinking among teenage Jews.

Then completing a Master of Science in family studies at the University of Manitoba, Adelberg analyzed feedback from students at Joseph Wolinsky Collegiate; of a total of 155 collegiate students, 86 agreed to fill out a series of questionnaires she gave them, with parental and administration permission, and to have their responses analyzed.

Thirty-six % of the 86 reported having suicidal thoughts.

Franklin said that percentage was "no different" from the statistics in the U.S., where about 1/3 of children are sometimes suicidal. He added that "this is a problem young people are not sharing with their parents."

In two videos shown during his lecture, some American teenagers talked about suicides they'd planned, or friends who'd killed themselves.

One girl spoke of feeling alone and having no one to talk to while growing up, because she was a lesbian.

A teenage boy and girl both felt intense shame over the secret they'd harbored - they'd been molested by adults.

Six to eight percent of American teenagers attempt suicide every year, and about 5,000 kill themselves, Franklin said.

At least 80% of American high school students also have sexual relationships, and many risk becoming HIV positive. Many resort to alcohol and drugs to solve their problems.

At Joseph Wolinsky Collegiate, Franklin said, he heard some Grade 7 and 8 students naming "every illegal drug, and talking about not using it - but were aware of it..."

"And with alcohol - they know how easy it is to get served. They said: It's harder to get into a gambling casino than it is to get alcohol."

Franklin said he wants to help parents understand the "warning signs" for youthful depression and suicidal thoughts.

"Be friends with your children," he said. "You can do that and still invoke discipline.&34; Franklin cited family meetings he held with his children when they were young.

He'd present a discipline problem he saw among them, and ask: "If you were parents what would you have me do?"

One audience member wondered how she could get her children to express their fears, if they refused to communicate.

Franklin said parents should show they're available, interested and willing to listen, even if that means sometimes knocking on a youngster's bedroom door and inviting yourself in for a quiet chat.

At the end of Franklin's lecture, members of the crowd were asked to fill out a questionnaire from the Crisis Response Committee evaluating his talk. The questionnaire also had a list of future educational programs people were asked to choose from, ranging from "School Pressure" to "Anxiety and Depression", "Interdating" and "Self-esteem".

Before he left, the still-grieving Franklin had a final message for his Shaarey Zedek audience: "I'm here because I care about you. I've learned love is something special...I want you to have a good life. And I don't want you to ever experience my pain."